A Reflection: 2019

You know really well the kind of professor that you love. Warm and friendly, yet strict and fair, and truly objective. You thought you’d hate the subject, but you ended up falling in love deeply. You wouldn’t care whether you’d get an A or a C, because you felt the class taught you invaluable lessons that can’t be quantified into letters or numbers.

2019 had the same vibe as that professor. I didn’t think I’d learn this much in a year, but I truly did. Sometimes I needed to stop for a while and think “what have I ever done to deserve all these amazing things in my life?“. I know that I should not be easily satisfied, but I truly am grateful.

2019 has truly been the year of growth. Knowing myself better, daring to do things outside of my comfort zone, self-restarting, and improving.

This post is made as a checkpoint and a reminder, so that maybe in a year, I can look back and see myself in the past.

The end of 2018 was rough, that’s one of the reasons why I didn’t have expectation for this year. But 2019 has proven that I was wrong. Terribly wrong.

2019 started off with such a wonderful news, that I told Redilla and said, well— I hope this means its gonna be a great year. And she said inshaAllah, Aamiin. It went uphill from there.

But of course there were some slopes and holes and bumpy roads during the journey, but it was worth the climb.

The Failures

  1. I got rejected multiple times to become a chair or board of dais in different model UN conferences
  2. I got rejected to become an ambassador for two MUN conferences
  3. I got rejected for several SOrCE (students organising conventions everywhere) conferences
  4. Got rejected for different fully-funded conferences.
  5. I did not finish writing a paper that I supposed to submit for an accounting competition because I suddenly lost interest in it
  6. I gained back some of the weights that I lost in 2018, and failed to maintain a good healthy eating habit, or healthy habit in general
  7. Although my paper got published on the conference proceedings, but I didn’t get to present it on the international conference.
  8. Got my very first “C” for a subject. I’m not happy with it. But in my defense, it was tough. Especially for the fact that I didn’t attend class for a month++ due to competitions, conferences, and hospitalized.

The Successes

  1. I got 3 MUN-related awards in 3 different countries
  2. I got 1 award in Future Leader Congress in Bangkok, Thailand
  3. I got 2 awards in a national accounting competition
  4. My paper got published in a proceedings of an international conference
  5. I got selected as APYouthS’ ambassador, and now their chief outreach officer
  6. I got selected as Board of Dais by IGN for 2020
  7. Yamakindo’s charity seminar was a success
  8. I scratched some of my bucketlists
  9. I think I got more intelligent emotionally, and I know myself better now
  10. I think I became more accepting and understanding in whatever it is. I bond better with my peers and family, I feel like I am more forgiving than I ever was.
  11. I managed to cut some bad habits and add some good ones.

The Firsts

  1. I sang in a charity concert for the first time
  2. Wrote a paper and got published in a conference proceedings for the first time
  3. Got hospitalized for the first time in my whole entire life, because of appendicitis
  4. Got MUN award for the first time
  5. Did an accounting-related competition for the first time (and won an accounting-related award for the first time)
  6. Went to the Philippines for the first time, did a co-delegating thing for the first time, for my first UNSC MUN.
  7. Did a floating thingy in Bangkok, Thailand for the first time
  8. Watch a musical for the first time! It was Aladdin in Singapore.

Obviously there are many more firsts, and failures, and successes, that I didn’t list down, and I might have forget, but through all these experiences, I truly learnt a lot.

But I would not be able to do all those things without the help of God, and the people around me. My mom, my brother, my sister, my whole entire family, my Melon gang and their family, and all the alliances in the university, Zerga and Maureen boleh lah, and you. This might sound cliche, but all of your story replies, and our interactions in real life or social medias are some of the things that probably have shaped me onto who I am today, and also all the people that might not read this post until the end, but actually have helped me a lot.

2019 was about growth, and I hope, even though it might mean more failures (but also more successes and lessons learnt), but I hope 2020 will be the year, for more.

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